Radio Derb: Horrors, Red Flags Over America, And Self-Fulfilling Prophecies, Etc.

"Now, I am a handgun owner, with a proper up-to-date pistol license, all correctly registered at county police headquarters, according to local ordinances. A complaint like the one filed against Junior apparently triggers some automatic computer search against the database of pistol license holders. So my name came up, and I got a letter from police HQ demanding I surrender my handguns.

I complied, of course, though I made the buggers work for it. I was supposed to drive twenty miles over to county police HQ and surrender my handguns, but I thought, "the hell with that." Instead I called the local station house, told them I am a decrepit geezer in poor health, would they mind sending an officer round that I could surrender my weapons to?

Two cops duly arrived on my doorstep. I gave them my handguns and license; they gave me receipts. They were, I should say, very courteous and professional.

(As they should be for what we pay them. A friend who's retired from the New York City police force tells me that among his colleagues, the cops of our leafy outer-suburban county were known as "the money boys." Comes time to sign up for the county police exam, there's a line three miles long of applicants wanting to get into the force.)

That was back in April. The suspension is for as long as it takes to resolve the complaint. Best guess is that sometime this Fall I get my handguns back … if they still have them. A friend with personal experience in this zone tells me that, quote: "The Police Property Clerk loses an amazing percentage of weapons impounded … especially the expensive ones." End quote.

I shall probably end up hiring a lawyer to get my guns back, and probably fail even then, after spending several hundred dollars."

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